Day 24: Survival Blues

I left work late and got to the gym around 7. There were only a few guys around; all the regulars were there.

No drilling, just sparring tonight. I drew Jack right off the bat. I played a bit at passing his open guard, working my hand under one leg to get the opposite ankle and try ing to collapse both legs for the pass. I had a small measure of success, but soon found myself swept and fighting off the choke. Jack is a crafty player and is always giving me something to worry about. When he has the mount I have tons of trouble working escapes because he constantly threatens the Ezekiel choke and forces me to defend it. If I get sloppy with my elbows defending the choke, that's an instant keylock or some other painful destination.

I shouldn't be discouraged about getting mauled by Jack. He's a very good blue belt who gives the purple belts a hard time, every time. Nevertheless, it's hard to get my mind in the right place, to drop the remnants of my ego and those useless concepts of "winning" and "losing". I'm trying. It's going to be a long road, and I hope that I've grown enough to enjoy the ride.