Day 30: Milestones

I've been remiss in updating my training diary. Since there is scant possibility of a readership for these notes, I'm only hurting myself. Which, as it turns out, just makes me feel worse.

I started training around two months ago, and I've made it to 30 training sessions. That's a pretty good rate, I think, and a pretty good value for my unlimited training contract. I'm motivated to continue at a comparable rate.

Also: Kahlil got his brown belt today. His emotional response was touching to see.

As for me, I'm the low man. The survival blues are doing their thing. I feel like I'm learning, but the ass-kickings have not decreased in frequency, they just take a little longer. Being able to intellectually grasp that this is the way it is supposed to be, and simultaneously being unable to suppress the emotional response to repeated strangulation and joint locks offers a lovely bit of cognitive dissonance. That's the name of the game in jiu-jitsu, apparently. Maybe it's a microcosm of life in that respect, a lesson in resisting the pull of the animal and striving for rationality. Or maybe I should quit being philosophical and just train.

Roger was at class, presumably for the purpose of awarding Kahlil his promotion. We kept it simple with some guard-passing circuits for quite a long time. I had some ups and downs, getting annihilated by Jack and swept quickly by Del as well. However, I hit the hip bump sweep on Christian and was able to block Damon's triangle attempt, stack him, and pass. Aris took some time to explain the importance of posture when you are in someone's guard, showing me how to get a wide base with my knees, keep my back straight and keep my head up. It is way easier said than done.

By the time we wrapped up circuits I was nice and tired, but Jack must have sensed my malaise as he slithered over for a roll. My confidence was nicely smashed by the time I tapped to his Americana. I guess one needs to choke down some nasty medicine to get better.